On 18 years in band...

My dad once told me, "People don't change, they just get older."  Well, this statement fits perfectly in describing my band experiences over the past 18 years.  Here are just a few examples (if you have ever been in a concert band, you will no doubt be able to relate):

There's always that one person who nobody likes, not even the biggest dorks.  In elementary school, it was that goofy little kid who just kept to himself and really wouldn't talk to most people, probably out of shyness.  Then in high school it was that goofy guy who played 3rd trombone or was the superfluous percussionist, who the nicest people would reach out to, only to realize he actually was really weird.  In college, it was the 2nd clarinet guy or the 3rd sax, who some people felt bad for, but honestly he wasn't worth talking to because you couldn't carry on a conversation with him.  As an adult, he's still there.  He's in the back of the band wearing the weird t-shirts, not that good at his instrument, but he doesn't seem to realize that.  And if you tell him so, he gets defensive, or he can't hear you at all.  Aaahh.... the joy.

Then there's that girl who is thinks she is the most wonderful person in the world, and that all the boys LOVE her (she may potentially be not-so-bad-looking, but she's just so damn annoying).  She really wasn't there much in elementary school, because "boys have cooties."  In high school, she rears her annoying head, and she's the one before and after class and on field trips rubbing the guys shoulders and flirting with the director.  She's okay at her instrument, but that's an aside.  The only difference in college is that her shoulder-rubbing now occurs on band tour buses and in church basements, and there may be occasionally a little more than just rubbing going on...  As an adult, she still may be flirting with the director, or you'll find her surrounded by the still-dorky young men in the group on breaks and before concerts.

Then there's the "one cute guy" who is constantly being fawned over by all of the girls.  In elementary school it was that cute trumpet player or percussionist who also ran the fastest in gym class and got the best grades.  In high school, he was also on the basketball team and played soccer, pure over-achiever.  In college, it was basically the same as in high school, it's just that now he was the one cute fraternity guy that still held on to his musical abilities.  As an adult, it's that well-dressed man, still pretty good at his instrument, able to hold a decent conversation, and probably has a gorgeous wife and three beautiful children.  Probably also drives an upscale 4-wheel drive.

Then there are the "core band people," for lack of a better description.  I did not like most of these people, and to be honest, still don't (at least not the current ones).  These were the people who, poor babies, had been treated like dorks their entire lives because they were in band.  However, in reality, they were really a hell of a lot more judgemental and exclusive than those who they thought looked down at them.  They weren't really there in elementary school, but oh were they there in high school.  They were the ones who were in band, choir, the musical, Madrigals, pep band... everything.  They were never fully accepting of me in high school because I also played sports and went to parties and drank beer, and didn't commit my life to band.  In college, they were the music majors who spent every waking hour in Bergendoff, in SAI and Phi Mu, and didn't like me because I was in a "social" sorority didn't make band my life (even though I had been in it as a freshman, as long as they had).  Now, it's the ones who don't like me because I'm young and can't make it to every single rehearsal because I have a sick kid or can't find a babysitter-- even though I play my instrument and love music as much as they do.  Yes, these are pretty blanketed descriptions, and judgemental, I know.  But you've got to admit there's some truth to it...

I don't know what category I fell or fall into, but I just know I always did (and still do) things that I enjoyed and didn't care what people thought of me.  I had fun playing softball and being in marching band, and also going to sorority parties and band tour.  Hell, I missed Pref Night at Augie most years because I wasn't back from tour yet.  However, after all of this apparent emotional scarring... haha... I have learned a hell of a lot.  Facebook is an odd duck, and has taught me that some of those people that I wasn't a huge fan of in college have grown up just like I have, finding their own adult lives and putting the past behind them.  I'm glad for that, and glad that I see them in a much more pleasant light now than I did years ago.  There are still those weirdos, but then again some of those weirdos have the most beautiful families and are the nicest people.  I wonder what years from now will bring of my opinions of the current folks I play with... Oh wait, I'm the youngest, I bet they'll all be dead ;)